Laetitia Mugerwa: The Things and People Who Trigger You Might Be Revealing Something About You

Have you ever encountered someone who rubbed you the wrong way, even though they didn’t do anything wrong? Perhaps their confidence bothered you, their success made you feel uneasy, or their honesty seemed a bit too blunt. It’s tempting to believe the issue lies with them, but often that discomfort reflects your own feelings rather than their behaviour. Sometimes, it’s a prompt to look inward and examine your own reactions.

Everyone has a hidden side. This side comprises emotions we were told not to express, dreams we quietly set aside, insecurities we carefully hide, and qualities we learned to suppress because they didn’t align with the version of ourselves that society finds acceptable. Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung referred to this hidden aspect as the “shadow.” He didn’t label it as evil or dangerous; rather, he recognised that it exists outside the light of our conscious awareness.

From childhood, many of us start to collect bits of ourselves that we believe are unacceptable. We are told not to cry because it makes us appear weak. We are discouraged from expressing anger because “good people” are always calm. Some are taught that ambition is selfish, while others learn that vulnerability is something to conceal. These lessons are often passed down with good intentions, but they can lead us to believe that certain parts of who we are should remain hidden.

The truth, however, is that hidden emotions do not disappear. They simply wait.

They reveal themselves in unexpected moments: when we lose our temper over something trivial, when another person’s success feels strangely personal, or when we find ourselves repeating the same painful relationship patterns despite promising ourselves that this time will be different. We often blame bad luck, difficult people, or…