Mfonobong Inyang: Dear Men, We Gather Dey

Dear men, I know that feeling of having your successes taken for granted, but your struggles are used to define you. I know how you feel when you cannot provide for your loved ones, especially in a world where your relevance is almost determined by how much you have in your bank account. I can relate because I have been there and done that – we gather dey.

Dear men, I know the amount of restraint you have had to exercise just so you don’t become a statistic for toxic males. Even when you’re hurt, you choose to protect the other party by not telling your side of the story. You know that you will be forever judged by that one incident if you act out of character, so you suck it up and take the L silently. You don’t want any drama because while the law submits that you’re presumed innocent until proven guilty, a large swath of society believes you’re guilty until you can prove otherwise. We gather dey.

Dear men, I know why you find it hard to be vulnerable. Many people throw that word around, but they don’t really mean it. They just want to get the scoop on your story and gloat over it. They really want to confirm that you’re human after all. Your pain is their entertainment; that’s why they fall over themselves on who has the latest gist about you. That’s really why you choose to suffer in silence instead; it’s a defence mechanism. You don’t want anyone to hit you while you’re already down; you can take being broke, but you can’t afford to be broken. We gather dey.

Dear men, I know what it means to be called proud when it really has nothing to do with being conceited, but it’s a word some people use when you refuse to follow their script. Once you refuse to bend the knee, you will begin to accuse you of the very things they are guilty of. Your decision to be your…